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ugh

I’m super frustrated and grumpy today. like incredibly so.

list form usually works best. 

1. i hate my fucking car. God, I understand that I may have been guilty of grand theft auto in a past life. That can only explain my horrible luck with my car. and cars in general. I’m just sick of spending hard earned money on vehicles. it looks like i am taking MY car to cali. and i can only pray it gets me there and lasts.

2. i am beginning to feel hopeless. and that california is not worth this fucking hardship. why am i working so fucking hard? im getting fatter everyday. i work too hard everyday. i miss drinking everyday. i am wondering if this all is fucking worth it. aside from drinking, i feel like i am getting unhealthier everyday.

i miss free time. i miss having a drink and letting loose. going to a concert and having a beer. and since ive quit drinking, im eating all the time. and i feel sadder, except for when i was on the pink cloud.

would i be happier if i just stopped working so much? if got myself a new fucking car? but stuck still living at home? 

probably not. i guess i just have to hang tough.

ugh.

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